The Transforming Quality of Change

As I sit in a dorm room at Creighton University (in Omaha, Nebraska) beginning a 10 week spirituality program for diocesan seminarians, I am struck with how time flies and concerns we had one day that seem so important become distant memories the next. The last few weeks of school were full of tests, papers, and readings which kept me very busy and slightly stressed. I finished strong academically and the end of finals week was dedicated to moving out of our rooms and attending graduation Mass for all of those who finished the philosophy and theology program at Saint Meinrad. The theology graduates are either preparing for or have been ordained to the priesthood this summer. I left Saint Meinrad and began a week long family vacation which was quite different from the hectic schedule of seminary life. After relaxing and enjoying time with family, I attended the powerful ordination of now Fr. Mauricio Carrasco, Fr. Alejandro Puello, and Fr. Juan Manjarrez who I got to know through my year at the seminary.

The next day, three fellow diocesan seminarians and I drove up to Omaha, Nebraska for a program put on by the Institute of Priestly Formation (I.P.F.). The goal of I.P.F. is to help diocesan seminarians form a spirituality that will make their ministry as priest more fruitful. The main goal for the summer is to help foster the development of the seminarian’s relationship with Christ in a way that is both intimate and unceasing. This intimate relationship with Christ is the foundation that allows us to be lead by His will and make Christ a physical reality in a world that yearns for his presence. We will be learning the spirituality of St. Ignatius and applying what we learn to our prayer life. This way of looking at our prayer life is rooted in the unique way in which Christ loves each of us and our experience of Him in our daily life.

Tomorrow I will be beginning an eight day silent retreat. I know it will be difficult not only because of the silence, but because I will be taking a deep look at myself and my relationship with God. I am excited about the experience and I know it will be a fruitful time of detachment from worldly goods and connection with God.

Showing up at Creighton University a few days ago made me realize how difficult change can be. I am the type of person who loves new experiences, but the love I have for them is always in hindsight. I seem to have a few days at the beginning in which my desire is to be very selfish with my time. I don’t want to open up to new people and I can even be skeptical. For me, this is a natural response to change. Soon I get comfortable in my new surroundings and I begin to enjoy my time in a new place. This has happened when I first started going to Catholic Campus ministry, during Mission Trips, when I first entered the seminary, and most recently here at I.P.F. I have already begun to open up here in Omaha and I am enjoying my time with such a variety of seminarians around the country (171 total). I am becoming aware of the vulnerability that is present in change. This vulnerability seems like a very negative part of my life but without it I would not be experiencing new things and it would be more difficult to see how God is at work in my life.

I believe reflection is the key to making sense of the constant changes in our life. We can be too busy in our technological culture to take time to reflect. But it is in this reflection that we improve ourselves and become aware of gifts in our lives we would have missed otherwise. Reflection is a springboard for genuine prayer. Through reflection we become aware that God works in our lives and this is the invitation to let God know how we truly feel… to be honest about our frustration with Him or others, thankful for His gifts and His love for us, or merely to tell our Creator the parts of our life that mean so much to us. Even though I don’t feel intimately connected with Him every day I know that he loves us and is overjoyed each time we speak to Him and attempt to listen to Him.