The Transforming Quality of Change

As I sit in a dorm room at Creighton University (in Omaha, Nebraska) beginning a 10 week spirituality program for diocesan seminarians, I am struck with how time flies and concerns we had one day that seem so important become distant memories the next. The last few weeks of school were full of tests, papers, and readings which kept me very busy and slightly stressed. I finished strong academically and the end of finals week was dedicated to moving out of our rooms and attending graduation Mass for all of those who finished the philosophy and theology program at Saint Meinrad. The theology graduates are either preparing for or have been ordained to the priesthood this summer. I left Saint Meinrad and began a week long family vacation which was quite different from the hectic schedule of seminary life. After relaxing and enjoying time with family, I attended the powerful ordination of now Fr. Mauricio Carrasco, Fr. Alejandro Puello, and Fr. Juan Manjarrez who I got to know through my year at the seminary.

The next day, three fellow diocesan seminarians and I drove up to Omaha, Nebraska for a program put on by the Institute of Priestly Formation (I.P.F.). The goal of I.P.F. is to help diocesan seminarians form a spirituality that will make their ministry as priest more fruitful. The main goal for the summer is to help foster the development of the seminarian’s relationship with Christ in a way that is both intimate and unceasing. This intimate relationship with Christ is the foundation that allows us to be lead by His will and make Christ a physical reality in a world that yearns for his presence. We will be learning the spirituality of St. Ignatius and applying what we learn to our prayer life. This way of looking at our prayer life is rooted in the unique way in which Christ loves each of us and our experience of Him in our daily life.

Tomorrow I will be beginning an eight day silent retreat. I know it will be difficult not only because of the silence, but because I will be taking a deep look at myself and my relationship with God. I am excited about the experience and I know it will be a fruitful time of detachment from worldly goods and connection with God.

Showing up at Creighton University a few days ago made me realize how difficult change can be. I am the type of person who loves new experiences, but the love I have for them is always in hindsight. I seem to have a few days at the beginning in which my desire is to be very selfish with my time. I don’t want to open up to new people and I can even be skeptical. For me, this is a natural response to change. Soon I get comfortable in my new surroundings and I begin to enjoy my time in a new place. This has happened when I first started going to Catholic Campus ministry, during Mission Trips, when I first entered the seminary, and most recently here at I.P.F. I have already begun to open up here in Omaha and I am enjoying my time with such a variety of seminarians around the country (171 total). I am becoming aware of the vulnerability that is present in change. This vulnerability seems like a very negative part of my life but without it I would not be experiencing new things and it would be more difficult to see how God is at work in my life.

I believe reflection is the key to making sense of the constant changes in our life. We can be too busy in our technological culture to take time to reflect. But it is in this reflection that we improve ourselves and become aware of gifts in our lives we would have missed otherwise. Reflection is a springboard for genuine prayer. Through reflection we become aware that God works in our lives and this is the invitation to let God know how we truly feel… to be honest about our frustration with Him or others, thankful for His gifts and His love for us, or merely to tell our Creator the parts of our life that mean so much to us. Even though I don’t feel intimately connected with Him every day I know that he loves us and is overjoyed each time we speak to Him and attempt to listen to Him.

Mock Homily -- Our Lady of Sorrows (Sept. 15th)

This was the final for my Mary in the Lirturgy class. We each took a Marian feast day according to the liturgical year and had assignments, pertaining to our particular day, to complete during the semester. Each assignment helped us to provide a homily appropriate for that day. My day was Our Lady of Sorrows which I have come to appreciate in a new way. So here it is:

HOMILY

Don’t you want to be happy? Isn’t that what we are all striving for in this life? This is why we have so many bars, dance clubs, golf courses, churches, movie theaters… and the list goes on and on. It is not wrong to look for joy. This is part of the human condition and this is what God wants for each and every one of us. Every sin we commit is just a misguided attempt to obtain happiness that we so desperately desire. But it becomes a sin because we are trying to obtain this happiness by our own doing… we are trying to steal something that God is wanting to give to us freely.

One may ask: What is the reason that we have to deal with the pains, suffering, and negative effects of life when the almighty, powerful God wants us to be eternally happy?

An example which was recently revealed in my relationship with my Father may clear up this question:

As a child any time I would put a mint in my mouth he would always, without hesitation, say “bite that thing in half”. Nothing would make me so infuriated as a child. It upset me so much because I just wanted to enjoy sucking on the mint until it dissolved in my mouth and each time I had bite it in half I could not resist the urge to chew on it until within a few seconds the fun was over. Now as a child my point of view was “my dad was trying to show his authority by making me do what he wanted even in the smallest act of eating a mint.” I thought he was on a power trip. I believed his motives were mean-spirited and he was trying to purposely ruin all fun in my life. (I know I was a melodramatic child). However recently I realized that my dad was driven by the fear that I would choke and die. He would not allow the possibility of losing his child from something that he could prevent by simply saying “bite that in half”. He was driven by love and no protest of mine would hinder it and I was obedient to him every time even if I disliked it.

In the first reading, we reflect on Jesus in the flesh, particularly in his passion and death. This is the cosmic and perfect example of a son listening to his father even though it would cost him everything. Jesus is our only HOPE and source of eternal salvation and yet he was driven to immense sorrow. The Son of God, the one made perfect, suffered immensely and yet he did so because He loved his father. Jesus Christ, son of Mary, also knew happiness… but not the happiness or the joy we typically think of. He knew the profound happiness that demands obedience and sacrifice and leads to suffering. He knew that suffering would make him perfect and He offered this suffering to the only One who could save Him from death … His loving Father. He sacrificed the rewards of immediate, selfish, fleeting joy for everlasting, infinite happiness that is given through grace to all mankind. He understood that the negative aspects of life can be endured and offered up because God has eternal happiness in mind for Him.

Today we reflect on the Sorrow of Mary. This is a difficult memorial because we typically do not like to reflect on the sadness that Mary felt in her life. Yet in her lifetime Simeon prophesied that she would have to suffer greatly and this is evident we reflect on her life. She had to escape to Egypt with her newborn baby because King Herod wanted to kill Him and she must have tried to comprehend why someone would want to kill her defenseless baby. She was also brought to sorrow when she lost the Son of God somewhere in Jerusalem when he was only a child. And finally we are brought to the climax of human history… the crucifixion of Jesus. Mary had to witness her baby boy mistreated, abused, and killed even though she knew He was innocent. Yet in her lifetime she also has experienced joy and happiness. Emotions make us human.

Throughout her life she spent a lot of time with the Word of God and she knew it very well. The familiarity she found in the Word was eventually made flesh in her womb. Many times when raising Jesus she pondered in her heart what all of it meant. She continually spent time reflecting and meditating on the Word. She may not have known everything that she would suffer in her life, but she was familiar enough with the Word that she was able to follow the inspiration of God and act accordingly.

She followed Christ with great devotion and was at the foot of the Cross with Him at the end. The profound way in which she knew Christ made her sorrow that much more profound. She was the first disciple and a great example for us today. Nowadays an unbeliever could care less about Christ and would not think twice about how he was murdered, but one who is in an intimate relationship with Christ is sorrowful when reflecting on His passion even though we know that He rises from the dead on third day. All emotions are a gift from God. Emotions make life worth living. Striving to have happiness as our only emotion will eventually numb us from any emotion at all. The road to salvation is full of sorrow and struggle but if we are obedient to God we will be able to find the everlasting happiness that we all strive for in the deepness of our heart. So let us ask for the intercession of Mary, especially in the times that we are struggling and sad, and pray that we obtain the intimacy with Christ that she enjoyed. We can be confident that no matter what kind of sorrow and struggle that intimacy may entail God is preparing us a home in eternal life and in the mean time let us be sustained by the Eucharistic feast and give God thanks for all the emotions that we encounter in our lives.

Endurance = Patience Concentrated

Lent is over and we are now celebrating the Easter Season. The spirit of the liturgy here at seminary has been very powerful especially in the Octave of Easter. I just got back from my week break during Holy Week and it is truly as if a breath of fresh air has filled the air here at the seminary. Here in Indiana spring has hit full force making it harder for me to concentrate on my studies. I cannot believe I have less than one month left in my first year as a seminarian. Unfortunately, even though there is less than a month left, I have more papers, homework, and readings than I have had in previous years. This increase in the work load and the beautiful weather outside do not make a good combination for finding the motivation to end the year off strong academically. This semester has turned out to be one of the most challenging semesters I have ever had in my years in school. I have had to find a balance between hanging out with friends, praying, and doing my homework. The increased workload has pushed me to dedicate more time to my intellectual formation. I do not feel like I have learned a lot this semester, but I see in the papers I have done for philosophy that I am able to take a lot of the theories and make them applicable to my studies and life.

Here are the classes that I am taking this semester:

Medieval Philosophy: a study of the philosophers during the Middle Ages and philosophers from previous eras that made an impact in the way they thought.
Philosophy of Nature and Man: this course has described how philosophy has explained and examined nature and man since the Greeks (Aristotle) to modern psychology (B.F. Skinner). We have dealt with the writing of Aristotle, Aquinas, Rousseau, Sartre, and Skinner.
Human Development and Christian Maturity: this class is concerned with understanding maturity by learning theories of how we develop cognitively, emotionally, socially, spiritually and sexually throughout our life. We are gaining self-knowledge so that one day we will be able to give ourselves freely to priestly ministry.
Ecclesiastical Latin II: we have moved past learning about grammatical constructions of the language to applications through translation and reading liturgical documents.
Mary in the Liturgy: this class is concerned with seeing Mary’s role in the Church and especially during the liturgical year. We are presented with many views of Mary throughout the ages and use encyclicals and document of Vatican II to understand a devotion that is in line with Catholic teaching

Even though these classes have been very difficult I am happy that I am struggling through them. At times (more often than not) the subject material is over my head, but being exposed to it is helping me gain a respect and understanding for philosophy.

I ask for your prayers in these last few weeks of the semester. I am tempted to give into my ways of procrastination and abandon my school work for the pleasures of outdoor activities. This will not happen because even though I have a lot of work we do have plenty of free time to enjoy the the spring weather, but staying concentrated on the tasks at hand has definitely become more difficult.

Praying for you all!

Much Love,

William   

Lenten Reflection

Being present with Christ during Lent in the dryness of faith and temptation is very difficult. In this unpleasantness, a good, inspiring reflection is always welcomed. For me, yesterday's Second Reading in the Office of Readings was exactly what I needed to end this Lent right. I hope you are challenged and given hope by this Reflection from a document during the Second Vatican Council. 

**update of my life, as of late, soon to come**

Saturday 24^th, 2012 “Office of Readings” – Gaudium et spes, nn. 37-38(Second Vatican Council)

Sacred Scripture teaches the human family what the experience of the ages confirms: that while human progress is a great advantage to man, it brings with it a strong temptation. For when the order of values is jumbled and bad is mixed with the good, individuals and groups pay heed solely to their own interests, and not to those of others. Thus it happens that the world ceases to be a place of true brotherhood. In our own day, the magnified power of humanity threatens to destroy the race itself.

For a monumental struggle against the powers of darkness pervades the whole history of man. The battle was joined from the very origins of the world and will continue until the last day, as the Lord has attested. Caught in this conflict, man is obliged to wrestle constantly if he is to cling to what is good, nor can he achieve his own integrity without great efforts and the help of God's grace.That is why Christ's Church, trusting in the design of the Creator, acknowledges that human progress can serve man's true happiness, yet she cannot help echoing the Apostle's warning: "Be not conformed to this world" (Rom. 12:2). Here by the world is meant that spirit of vanity and malice which transforms into an instrument of sin those human energies intended for the service of God and man.

Hence if anyone wants to know how this unhappy situation can be overcome, Christians will tell him that all human activity, constantly imperiled by man's pride and deranged self-love, must be purified and perfected by the power of Christ's cross and resurrection. For redeemed by Christ and made a new creature in the Holy Spirit, man is able to love the things themselves created by God, and ought to do so. He can receive them from God and respect and reverence them as flowing constantly from the hand of God. Grateful to his Benefactor for these creatures, using and enjoying them in detachment and liberty of spirit, man is led forward into a true possession of them, as having nothing, yet possessing all things. "All are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's" (1 Cor. 3:22-23).

For God's Word, through Whom all things were made, was Himself made flesh and dwelt on the earth of men. Thus He entered the world's history as a perfect man, taking that history up into Himself and summarizing it. He Himself revealed to us that "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and at the same time taught us that the new command of love was the basic law of human perfection and hence of the worlds transformation.
To those, therefore, who believe in divine love, He gives assurance that the way of love lies open to men and that the effort to establish a universal brotherhood is not a hopeless one. He cautions them at the same time that this charity is not something to be reserved for important matters, but must be pursued chiefly in the ordinary circumstances of life. Undergoing death itself for all of us sinners, He taught us by example that we too must shoulder that cross which the world and the flesh inflict upon those who search after peace and justice. Appointed Lord by His resurrection and given plenary power in heaven and on earth, Christ is now at work in the hearts of men through the energy of His Holy Spirit, arousing not only a desire for the age to come, but by that very fact animating, purifying and strengthening those noble longings too by which the human family makes its life more human and strives to render the whole earth submissive to this goal.

Now, the gifts of the Spirit are diverse: while He calls some to give clear witness to the desire for a heavenly home and to keep that desire green among the human family, He summons others to dedicate themselves to the earthly service of men and to make ready the material of the celestial realm by this ministry of theirs. Yet He frees all of them so that by putting aside love of self and bringing all earthly resources into the service of human life they can devote themselves to that future when humanity itself will become an offering accepted by God.

The Lord left behind a pledge of this hope and strength for life's journey in that sacrament of faith where natural elements refined by man are gloriously changed into His Body and Blood, providing a meal of brotherly solidarity and a foretaste of the heavenly banquet.

"... and the truth will set you free" Jn 8:32

So the semester has officially begun: it started with Mass and a formal dinner Wednesday night. Bishop Paprocki, Bishop of Springfield, IL, presided at Mass and gave a talk after dinner about the responsibility priest and seminarians have for promoting vocations to the priesthood and religious life for both men and women. This is most fundamentally and persuasively done, he explained, in the way we live our lives of faith each day but there must be action that comes from this faithful lifestyle. He challenged us to speak about religious vocations more often and to help others realize that just as the apostles were individually and personally called to follow Christ we too have this personal calling to a specific vocation in which we can transform the world for the better. We will only be able to properly hear and respond to this call if we can find beauty in all forms of vocations (married, single, & religious lives), devoutly listen to God in prayer, and become open enough with ourselves to truthfully discern the vocation God is calling us to.

            The festivities on Wednesday night were also special because for the first time since the end of last semester all the seminarians were back at St. Meinrad. During January, after our J-term classes, we make a trip to Washington D.C, to participate in the Walk for Life and then we go on retreats that are specific for each class.

            This was my first time to go to D.C. and it was a great experience. I was able to get to know my fellow seminarians better and to support life during The March which seems to be an issue that is becoming attacked and threatened more and more each day. A surprise and highlight of my trip was meeting up with some friends from UCA who came to the March for Life with a group of college students from Fayetteville, AR and even though it was a short visit I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with them. The turnout for The March was not officially tallied but it was estimated to have exceeded 300,000 people and the amount of youth that were involved was amazing and inspiring. The rest of the time was spent going to see the popular monuments and churches, namely the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, around D.C. and relaxing with friends.

            My favorite place in D.C. was the National Shrine and if you have not been or seen pictures of it before than a I will give a brief explanation that does not give it justice: It is a huge Basilica with many side altars that are dedicated to the different devotions to Mary (Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Guadalupe, etc.). It is one of the most beautiful churches I have ever been to but while looking at the hundreds of statues of Mary and seeing people praying in front of many of them my thoughts ran along the lines of “I can see why non-Catholics say that we worship Mary” and it left me very unsettled. But after a little time to reflect on this I came to the beautiful realization that every time we see Mary or pray to her then there is Jesus ever-present with her. Whatever we present to her is then given to her Son and how could Jesus be displeased with this offering from her mother when His 4^th commandment to us is “Honor thy Father and Mother.”

            After our trip to D.C. my class, 1^st Philosophy, immediately went to our retreat near Lexington, KY. Fr. Denis, our rector, led the retreat and the theme was “Considering Your Call” which dealt with the responsibilities and lifestyle of the priest by taking a detailed look at Traditions and resolves promised in the Rite of Ordination of both deacons and priests. This retreat focused us on not only understanding what the life of the priest is like but a challenge to begin working toward this lifestyle now in the seminary because the graces received at ordination will not magically fix our problems. We were challenged to become servants for our fellow seminarians and to continually strive to conform our lives to Christ. This retreat has left me with many healthy doubts that I will need to face while here at the seminary pertaining to my vocation to the priesthood. I am now challenged to use this semester to the fullest in my commitment to my studies and in growing closer to Christ through the Sacraments and my time in prayer.

            Lastly, I wanted to touch on the topic of the recent HHS Mandate which the Bishops around the country are fighting to overturn because of its blow to religious freedom and the situation in which the Susan G. Komen Charity planned to stop donating to Planned Parenthood and then half a week later announced that they would in fact continue their support. I am mentioning these issues because they have left me bewildered about the state of our nation and have forced many Americans to become involved in the issues that seem to have been brewing under the surface of our nation for many years. I feel we have hit a point in our nation’s history where we must show our support for life, at all stages of development. We must do this by standing up for what we believe in and being proactive in the support of our belief. In our actions we must continually be led by the example of Christ who is our Truth. This Truth will set us free and we will bring the darkness of our culture to the Light in which society will finally be able to see the darkness as it truly is: The absence of Love. Even though I have felt as if I can’t make a difference by myself I know I must continue to do what I can (mainly praying for change) and then live with faith and hope in God’s goodness.

Much Love,

William

New Year, Same Goal

Returning to the seminary after break has been bitter-sweet. On the one hand, I was happy to see all my friends here on the hill and get into the routine of life that is guided by the tolling of the bells every quarter hour but I did not want to give up my relaxing break and the quality time I spent with friends and family and still yet there were many people I unfortunately did not get to see.  As of last week though, I am now fully unpacked and accustomed to the rhythm of life here once again. Last Sunday, the water main in the town broke and after we depleted the remains of the water tower we were on a mandatory water boil from Monday to Wednesday. You never know how much water you drink until it is on limited supply! Don’t worry, all the seminarians survived because of the awesome kitchen staff who kept a fresh supply of boiled water in the dining room.

I have noticed my lack of posting as of late and would like to update you on one of the big events that happened at the end of last semester. All 140 seminarians volunteered at the National Catholic Youth Conference (NCYC) which was held in Indianapolis at the end of November. This was an amazing experience because there were 24,000 youth there from around the nation. We all had various volunteering jobs from directing the lines of people going to confession to helping the youth find the rooms in the convention center but our most important job was to show the youth that seminarians are actually ordinary people. I ran into a few groups who didn’t know who/what a seminarian was and it was interesting to see the range of reactions they had when I explained that I was discerning to become a priest but it always led to good conversation.     

Now I am currently in my second week of J-Term classes which are 2 week classes during January that are normally geared toward learning skills that a priest might not learn in his typical classes such as cooking, finances, and health/ fitness but they also have classes that are meant to deepen your understanding of pivotal parts of the priesthood such as spirituality and the celibate life. In 1^st Philosophy we have spirituality in the morning for 2 hours and Chant/Sacred Music for 2 hours in the afternoon. The good part about J-Term is that there are no grades and minimal homework assignments so everyone is enjoying socializing during breaks and in the evening.

On Saturday morning we made a pilgrimage to Monte Cassino, a small chapel on the top of a hill outside of the town. Here is the story from the Saint Meinrad Achabbey website that explains this pilgrimage that has been going on for over 130 years:

The dedication of the new chapel nurtured local piety. When an epidemic of smallpox threatened the area in the winter of 1871, the community was quick to turn to Our Lady of Monte Cassino. The first cases of smallpox broke out before Christmas. Several in the village had died and, during the holidays, four persons became infected at Saint Meinrad. As more cases of the disease were discovered, the worst was feared.

On January 5, all the students who could walk went on a pilgrimage to Monte Cassino, where a solemn votive Mass was offered. The pilgrimage was repeated on the last day of the novena (January 13). Since the novena was begun, not a single case of smallpox broke out. In thanksgiving, Saint Meinrad students make a pilgrimage to Monte Cassino each year around January 13

This was a solemn walk in which we lined up in groups of two saying the rosary and walked the rest of the way in silence to Monte Cassino where we ended with Mass. The temperature starting out the walk was 22 degrees and the chapel, with the small heater on, was up to 44 degrees.

I am looking forward to a fun but trying semester but one in which I know will be full of blessings. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support for me I can’t explain how much it means to me. All I know is that each and every prayer sent my way is giving me that extra encouragement that I continually need. I am returning the favor by praying for you too!

Hope your 2012 is full of blessings, peace, and joy!

Much love,

William