The World I Know

Life here has not changed much since last I wrote. I am still really enjoying all that I am experiencing here but classes have been getting more intense and it is about time for a relaxing break. It is amazing how fast this semester has flown by. I already have received my schedule for next semester and I have 1 more week of classes and finals week and then I am finished with my first semester here in the seminary. The biggest changes that have occurred in the past few months are that I received a new ministry spot an hour away from the seminary (in Evansville, IN) and three seminarians (upper year) have discerned out.

First I will try to describe the difficult process of discerning out. This is a constant presence in the seminary and it can happen at any time. This is hard for the seminarian discerning out, his close friends, and the whole community. All of the guys that discerned out have sent e-mails explaining their situation and when they will be leaving. Each time this happens and I witness someone discern out it centers my mind on the purpose that we are all here – to figure out if becoming a priest is God’s vocation for our lives. I always pray for those who discern out because I know it is hard to leave and I cannot imagine the emotion that is involved in that decision. What I do see are the reactions of their close friends. You can clearly tell that it is very hard for them, but at the same time they seem to be able to cope with it by understanding that ultimately it is God’s calling us to this vocation and not our personal motivation. Since I have not known those who have discerned out very well it seems to be an occasion for reflection on where I am in my discernment. It is a reality check of sorts and as of now I know that I am in the right place.

As for my ministry spot: a couple of weeks ago I was assigned a parish to observe for the rest of my year in 1^st philosophy. I will be working with 2 fellow classmates to find out the “culture” of the parish and present our findings at the end of the year. We were assigned to St. Theresa’s Parish in Evansville, IN. It will be interesting to see what we find, but most importantly it will help if we ever become pastors of a new parish. The whole reason for this assignment is to try to simulate what it would be like to get to know a parish as a new pastor. We are going to be getting involved in every aspect of the church and school and learn how they function as a community. By learning their “culture” we would then be able to be better pastors for them. This ministry is just another example of how every aspect of our lives here should be directed toward becoming a better priest for the future.

Ending on a bright/touching note I want to describe a seminarian that has become a role model for me during my first few months here. This seminarian is blind and has the visibility of a small pen hole. When he got to St. Meinrad a few years ago someone had to teach him how to get around the school by memorizing the number of steps it takes to get to specific places. Now he is preparing the vestments for the priest and preparing the sanctuary for daily Mass which in itself is a miracle to me. He has a great sense of humor, he is very nice, and has a special affection toward trains. He is a great witness to me every day I see him but recently he nearly brought me to tears because he altar served at Mass. It was an inexpressible moment but very touching to see someone be so humble and courageous.

He has challenged me to live my life differently and it reminds me to live life like a quote from The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen:

“It requires choosing for the light even when there is much darkness to frighten me, choosing for life even when the forces of death are so visible, and choosing for the truth even when I am surrounded by lies”

So I hope those who read this are changed by his witness also. Let us turn next week into a joyous time of thanks for all the gifts we have. I pray that everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving no matter where you are and that you choose to bask in the light, choose life to the fullest, and choose to live in the Truth.

Much love,

William Burmester

Piano & Faith: The Frustration (of trying)

Learning the piano as well as the journey in faith (closer to God) is full of frustration. A sense of knowing where you want to be (perfection and excellence) and at the same time struggling with something you deem elementary such as not playing the key you meant to because you do not have coordination in your stubborn fingers or your prayer time does not result in a feeling or inspiration that was expected before the time of prayer began. A lot of this “frustration” is evident and found in our desire to be perfect and to reach perfection in all that we set our mind to.

In no stage is this desire to be perfect and our actual ability more divergent than that of a novice, a mere beginner. For this reason, this is where you see most people give up before they begin. They see the excellent examples of saints and world famous composers and pianist and the beginner begins to doubt if ever they will reach this level of excellence. They see what they assume as innate perfection and begin to get overwhelmed, stop practicing, avoid their teachers/priests, and worst of all lose the desire to want to excel in what at one time they were so passionate about and had some dream of enjoying.

These first steps are where usually people decide to settle with crawling for the rest of their life rather than learn to walk because the suffering endured blinds them not only of the possibility of improving but the benefits and enjoyment that will be actualized through the trials and even their mistakes through practice. What is difficult for me to realize is the reality of difficulty that one goes through to be great. All of the practice, doubt, anger, frustration, joy, progress, and achievement that went on in the life of an “expert” before they became the person we admire now. No, I want to complain continuously about the easiness they had in their growth because they did it when they were younger or they posses some innate quality to be excellent. This complaint does not even consider the fact that these "experts" do make mistakes and they are not as perfect as I have idealized them in my head.

I normally try to quickly master some trick or trade which always results in failure. You can see evidence of this when you see someone become really passionate about a certain activity and they exert all energies to mastering it and then nonchalantly move on to something else in a few weeks if they had not perfectly learned it yet. Unfortunately, for beginners, frustration is a key motivator for quitting. It is the fuel of unfinished dreams and low self esteem because the one who quits does not forget that he gave up on what he put his mind to, but it drives him to find something that he can master with ease: But as we know from experience nothing in life comes easy!

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine

Life here in the seminary has become one weekly routine after another. Of course there are many things different about each week but I seem to have gotten use to the sudden changes of my first experience of seminary life. It always amazes me how quickly one can adapt to a totally new and different situation in life only after being thrown into the change some weeks before. I am still very busy and have been stressed out over class assignments, but now it is not overshadowed by an anxiety of trying to adapt to a new place.

My week in general consist of communal Morning Prayer, classes, Mass, lunch, spiritual direction (biweekly) piano lessons (weekly), holy hour, dinner and communal Evening Prayer. For any communal activities, including meals, we are required to wear slacks and collared shirts which took me a while to get accustomed to because I was stubborn but mainly lazy and did not want to spend the time dressing up every day.

Morning Prayer consists of Liturgy of the Hours which is typical anytime we pray in community. Something that is done here that I have not experienced before is they sing the psalms during the prayer. This is very cool, especially when you have 100+ men the psalms in unison. Unfortunately, since I typically get up at 7:53am for 8am prayer I have no time to stretch out my vocal cords which leaves me trying to sing properly but in reality I squawk the Morning Prayer to the best of my ability.

Classes then start at 8:30am every weekday except for Wednesday which is a day set apart for ministry. I am taking 12 hours of classes and the schedule looks like this:

Monday & Thursday –  8:30-9:45 Logical Analysis

                               10:00-11:15 Ancient Philosophy

Tuesday & Friday—    8:30-9:45 Introduction to the Creed

                               10:00-11:15 Ecclesiastical Latin

The classes do not require too much homework, but there is a ton of reading to do and the material is difficult to comprehend. As for Latin, studying Spanish has helped me out with the terminology of the language, but it is difficult to say the least. The reason it is unusually difficult is because I tend to want to bring my knowledge of Spanish to Latin which does not work  and not only do you have to conjugate verbs (change their ending depending on the subject(s)) but I have to learn to decline nouns and adjectives as well which needless to say requires much studying.

After classes, we have Mass at 11:30 which is always a highlight of my day. Most days I am distracted and do not fully participate at Mass, but there is always some point during Mass that gives me a sense that I am in the right place. Mass is followed by lunch and, for me since I have no elective classes, an afternoon free to do homework, play sports, and hang out. I begin my holy hour at 4:30 followed by communal Evening Prayer (which by this time of the day consist of less squawking and more singing), dinner and a free evening.

As I mentioned, I am going to spiritual direction biweekly with Fr. Bede and this has helped me out greatly. Usually during the week, I go into prayer and feel unchanged by the end of my prayer time to help with this Fr. Bede has challenged me to journal. Day to day I do not see much progress in my relationship with God however in my meetings with Fr. Bede I see how significantly God is working in my life and I begin to see a direction God is calling me to follow in order to become a better person. All this is realized mainly because I vocally describe my prayer life to Fr. Bede while he listens and aspects are highlighted that pinpoint important theme in my life of the previous weeks. During the meetings, Fr. Bede usually only says something when he feels it is necessary or if I as a question.

Lastly, I decided to take music lessons from a Franciscan Nun who is in charge of the liturgical music for the seminary. I have always wanted to learn and now is a better time than ever.  I am going to post a reflection about the similarities of learning to play the piano with the faith life. I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying life.

Praying for you daily!

Much love,

William  

In the Beginning...

My purpose in writing this blog is to inform all of those that I know and love of the happenings in my days here at Saint Meinrad School of Theology. I am only beginning this endeavor a few weeks later than expected (due to the drastic change in my schedule and the gradual process of getting accustomed to my new environment) and yet I feel overwhelmed because of all of the things I want to let you know about my life.

First of all, I am doing well and really enjoying it up here. This type of life is very hectic at times because of classes, meetings, mandatory sit-down meals, mass, liturgy of the hours, spiritual directions, sports, and meeting new friends but I have felt closer to God here due to the daily connection I have to the sacraments and general encouragement from the community to always put prayer before all else. I am in a very nice room with a view into the courtyard and private bathroom which unfortunately has had both a leak from the ceiling and a crack in the floor of the shower (don’t worry everything is good now). 

They call the location of the campus “The Hill” because it is the highest part of the city with many hill around it. This location provides for beautiful landscape to go on a scenic run or prayerful walk. Classes have been very challenging but it makes me concentrate more on my study habits so that I keep up in the classes. This is the first time I have been taught by priest and it has been very beneficial to see them in action. The seminary is run by Benedictine monks founded by St. Meinrad in the mid- 19^th century. Interestingly these specific monks are the ones that founded Subiaco Abbey in Arkansas.

I feel like this is the first time in a while I have been freed from a lot of responsibility that I am use to due to the fact that I am a first year student (I know this will change shortly) so I am taking full advantage of Basketball (Tuesdays & Fridays), Volleyball (Mondays), Soccer (Sundays), and the occasional ultimate Frisbee games. Do not worry I have a couple of golf courses to choose from around here so I can still get my golf fix. There are around 140 seminarians here on “The Hill” and it took me a while, due to my normal college experience, to realize that everyone here is trying to become holy in their own special way and everyone is open to help and to be helped.

Last but not least my phone situation! Walking up to St. Meinrad for the first time from the guest house (500 yards away) two things happened as I was watching my phone. First, half way to the seminary my time jumped up an hour because, little did I know, I had just walked into the eastern time zone because the seminary is built on the line that separates the eastern and central time zones. Come to figure out everything at the seminary follows central time. Secondly, I am pretty sure the monks have a device set up in the seminary to block cell phone service because from the guest house (Full service on my cell phone)  I lost one bar every 100 yards I walked until I had none left when I reached my room. Needless to say I am learning the spots in the seminary where I have service which are few and far between.

To end I wanted to let you know that there is still more I want to write about my first few weeks but for the sake of getting something up while at the same time not overloading everyone one with information this will have to do.  I will try to post something every few weeks while also putting up some reflections I have written. I hope all are doing well! I am praying for everyone and please pray for me!!!

Much Love,

William

p.s.-- if there are any special intentions to pray for please let me know and I can get the community here to pray for it as well